To get things started, my name is Celia. I'm not particularly remarkable, except that I have a keen ability to rewrite song lyrics to fit any situation. I get atypically excited about baroque theatre, and will speak in French at random intervals and without warning. If I had any acting or dancing ability at all I would run off to New York to become the latest Broadway sensation, but instead I just sing in the car. I like to eat pastry while walking down the streets because it reminds me of the semester I spent in Paris. My favorite animal is the Speke Gazelle, and I like to stand on subway trains without holding onto the handrails. If there is even the slightest amount of water on the floor, I will slip and fall. People tell me that I talk to fast, but I like to think that their minds just can't keep up.
I used to be narcissistic and egotistical, obsessed with a constant worry of what other people thought of me. I was self-centered and prideful, and always had to prove that I was better than everyone else. I blamed other people for my unhappiness before admitting my own shortcomings and held grudges in an ironic attempt to prove that I wasn't truly hurt by the people who hurt me. Because I always had to be better than everyone else, I let comparison to other people consume my thoughts and actions. When I couldn't measure up, my ultimate goal was to blend in with the wall and avoid being noticed.
Before, I always felt inadequate and judged. I felt like I couldn't be myself without risking social rejection.
But now, I don't need other people's approval to feel good about myself. Now, I don't have to work to be accepted by other people because I know that I already am accepted. Now, I don't always have to be the best, but I can recognize other people's talents and be excited for their accomplishments. Now, I'm okay with not being perfect, because I know that I don't have to be.
Now, I'm happy. Now, I'm free to be who I am.
Now, I'm alive in Christ.
Lately I've felt the need to write. Not to glorify myself, but to glorify God. So that's what this blog is: a place for me to reflect on God. Hopefully this will be of inspiration to someone.
I used to be narcissistic and egotistical, obsessed with a constant worry of what other people thought of me. I was self-centered and prideful, and always had to prove that I was better than everyone else. I blamed other people for my unhappiness before admitting my own shortcomings and held grudges in an ironic attempt to prove that I wasn't truly hurt by the people who hurt me. Because I always had to be better than everyone else, I let comparison to other people consume my thoughts and actions. When I couldn't measure up, my ultimate goal was to blend in with the wall and avoid being noticed.
Before, I always felt inadequate and judged. I felt like I couldn't be myself without risking social rejection.
But now, I don't need other people's approval to feel good about myself. Now, I don't have to work to be accepted by other people because I know that I already am accepted. Now, I don't always have to be the best, but I can recognize other people's talents and be excited for their accomplishments. Now, I'm okay with not being perfect, because I know that I don't have to be.
Now, I'm happy. Now, I'm free to be who I am.
Now, I'm alive in Christ.
Lately I've felt the need to write. Not to glorify myself, but to glorify God. So that's what this blog is: a place for me to reflect on God. Hopefully this will be of inspiration to someone.
Hi Celia! You inspired me. I'm a random blog follower, but I just hope we go to a small southeastern college and pledge the same sorority someday! But who knows if that'll ever happen...look forward to reading your blog!
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